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What Do I Do Now?
We are results orientated. Our achievement is not in the doing itself. We are focused on doing in order to achieve desired results.
We set a goal and we do what we need to do to achieve the goal. When I start a painting I not only intend to finish, I intend to finish with a good painting.
Yet being in the flow, those divine moments of harmony, unity and peace when in action (doing) I feel so alive, always seems far better that having whatever the results (often wonderful) is produced.
Perhaps, being in the flow, for athletes, artists, and well, anyone, means action flowing through inspiration
In the Abrahamic traditions we see the intimate act of creation in Genesis 1, when the Almighty speaks our physical universe into existence. Looks easy.
Actually, to some degree we do speak our realities into existence. We create our own realities through our beliefs and understandings, recognized and conscious and/or unrecognized or unconscious.
We also judge our reality by what we perceive to be our results.
When we do not achieve our desired results, in artistic endeavors, sports or business, we question , why?
And rather than keep our focus on where we are heading, our goal, we turn around and look at the pat. We ask, Where did I go wrong?
Recently, my friend Debbye in Dallas shared an email from another friend of hers who is a missionary in a third world country.
He asked, Where did I go wrong?
He then went on to describe his achievements in his area, and he has many achievements to be proud of – he is changing lives, helping to educate children and teaching them fundamental principles and skills, including the kinds of things we learn as boy and girl scouts. These children are no just poor, due to the encroachment of our world, their old ways have been largely over-run and the area suffers from alcoholism, unemployment and the break-up of families and values that lead to on-going violence and abuse. He has created school, closed sometimes for lack of heat and water to flush toilets, where children can learn in safety. Although, founded by this Christian missionary, the school is not religious (legally forbidden), but seeks only to educate and equip the children of the area for better lives.
I am a Jew, he is a Christian. I am telling you he is helping these people far beyond teaching theology; he's been influencing and changing young lives with education and life skills.
Despite all the good and hard work, some of the older children, now teenagers and young adults have succumbed to the pressures of their society, returning to violence and crime. Like the prodigal parent before the return of the child, he laments , Where did I go wrong? I can relate, as I am a parent.
Imagine Moses traveling around in the desert for forty years, yet that overly long journey was not his fault but part of a Plan that was beyond his own personal goals.
Or, what about Vincent Van Gogh – unrecognized in his own lifetime, and yet touching so many lives with his work today. Sometimes, maybe often, we cannot grasp the scope of what will come of following our heartfelt connection. Van Gogh, despite his basically secular narratives, thought of himself as a religious painter. Those of us who have been touch and inspired by his work can agree.
We are often incapable or blind to the fullness of the end result. What can seem like failure is only such if we fail to stay the course. Did Moses ultimately fail? Did Van Gogh?
I have several paintings that as paintings were disasters. Two, I have no idea what became of them (probably trashed) and one newer one I keep as a reference. I will never sell it as it is awful and not worth buying. However, for me it is of incalculable value as what I learned while struggling with that painting, back as I was experimenting and learning how to paint in the new way of UnGraven Image continues to be of great value to me.
One problem is with the question itself, Where did I go wrong?
Although it is a poignant and heartfelt question, it implies that one went wrong, based solely on not achieving the desired results, not conscience or that gut feeling or guilt.
Assuming one went wrong, how does looking backwards help? Will it change the future or create an outcome that is more pleasing?
We play games to win and then they are over. God has eternity. In fact, back in Genesis, when the Creator speaks the physical universe into existence, time begins. Time always refers to movement (energy change). Yet there is always and infinitely only now. The moment when we recognize change, create change, impel change.
I can only paint or draw or write or create in the now. Since I paint and draw using letters for strokes, and write obviously likewise (different letter set, different language) I have become aware that now is one letter at a time Pieces of words, that become words, sentences, whole ideas.
My very best is to be in communication now, in each successive now, and seek to do God's will for in this now. I only have this moment (each moment) to focus on God and ask, What do I do now?
When in a relationship with anything or anyone my best is to seek, What do I do now (Or what do I say now?) When I am painting, What do I do now? Sometimes, I wander off, and do my own thing, even with the best intentions. Even with righteous or moral intentions. It doesn't matter what I was thinking, I have learned to see the difference.
Sometimes, sure, I am just lazy or willful or letting my emotions control my thoughts, but other times an idea or something bright and shiny can grab my attention, fascinate me and poof! My attention is off of the Creator, my source of inspiration. Then something happens, some problem, frustration or perceived danger, such as trying to merge into rush hour traffic. Then, I return, as if awakened to the moment and begin to focus and ask for divine inspiration What do I do now?
So, maybe a better question than, Where did I go wrong? Is What do I do now?
Only in the now, the present do we have any power. We have no power over the past.
When, I seek guidance and ask, What do I do now? -- the answer I almost always get is something, an urging, that is small and simple.
When I was so sick with Lymes' disease (for over 10 years), I was desperate for release from the ongoing fatigue, pain and illness. In addition, partially due to my limiting physical condition, I was simultaneously dealing with other problems, including living in an abusive situation plus financial problems. I did not need a miracle, I needed several. After the family was asleep I would be praying and quietly crying, and seeking answers to my problems, and I would ask, in a Big Picture way, What do I do now!?
I remember the first time I actually felt that I had an answer. It startled me. The answer was, Go brush your teeth. After months of praying and crying and seeking, and the answer is finally, Go brush your teeth. That's an answer?
After arguing in prayer for a while longer, much like arguing with a wall, I went and brushed my teeth. During that, I “got”, Now, go to bed. I was still wretched. My problems were not handled. But, somehow, I realized I was at that moment in God's will. I liked that. There's a peace to that.
My problems went on until I learned a whole lot of lessons. The greatest being to ask, What do I do now? That question is partly how I stumbled into the experiment that became UnGraven Image.
It is written in the Bible that, Enoch walked with the Lord and then was no more. In Hebrew the wording means that Enoch was so in step with God that he never died. There are references to Abraham and Noah walking with the Lord also, but (I forget the exact wordings) the Hebrew indicates one followed and the other walked with/near (but not in step).
Jesus said, I do nothing but what the Father does through me . This is exactly what I am talking about attempting. Jesus also said , These things that I do so too can ye do – and I take that as a good pep talk.
Some of the worst trials and things that have happened to me have turned out to be some of my greatest blessings. Without experiencing chronic and acute Lymes' disease, I would never be who I am today or do what I do, both personally and professionally. One of the greatest lessons I learned was to seek the answer for this moment, What do I do now?
Listen for that “still small voice”, the Divine Nudge. The answer will be small, immediately relevant and probably not solve great problems, except that by doing it, the small step, at that moment there will be a certainly and peace that is a quiet miracle. A true answer or nudge will never harm anyone else (except their ego, perhaps). Getting an answer and then doing that is answer, because at that moment one is directly on one's Path.
Largely, it is how I paint. Asking. Always asking. Seeking inspiration. Stroke by stroke. The strokes add up. They create a painting, the way that our small actions, the strokes of our lives, create a whole.
Learn to perceive every moment of now as a blessing and affirmation full of possibilities along with challenges. See more. Then share the vision. JudyRey Wasserman's UnGraven Image |
