However, if the man down the street said something to me and I didn't understand him, I wouldn't think much of it. If Bob said something and I didn't understand him, I'd ask him what he meant. If I couldn't hear him well, I would get my hearing tested.

The angst I was feeling over whether I had correctly heard from God had nothing to do with believing or trusting God and everything to do with my spiritual hearing of that “still small voice.” Would a person who did not hear from God, was not walking with God, recognize an angel? In the Bible the people who recognize the presence of angels seem to be in relationship.

I was sitting in the lobby at Jamaica station late at night, waiting for the infrequent, but only public transportation back out to the Hamptons. In the lobby is a city interior night scene reminiscent of an Edward Hopper painting: stark, yellow-lit, filled with a few weary people who are just passing through and longing to be somewhere else. Ironically, Hopper also painted landscapes in the Hamptons where I was longing to be.

There is a heavy police presence in Jamaica station at night. Jamaica is a hub for Long Island commuter trains going in and out of New York City; however it is set in a neighborhood which is not safe to wander in after dark when the stores close. The police bustle in and out of the lobby, but there is always at least one standing so as to be easily seen from the outside. I suppose this discourages petty crime am nd indigents from coming indoors to spend the night.

If I wasn't fairly well dressed, clean and sober, I could be mistaken for an indigent bag lady, considering the amount of stuff I am hauling along. I am surrounded by my baggage, which includes my laptop shoulder bag, a shoulder purse, large shopping bag and two duffle bags filled with items including sheets, purchased at the mall next to the Marriot while the new used Honda Passport was being repaired. I never imaged the Passport would break down again about an hour away from home by car and going on over six hours – with about three more to go—by the only public transportation available from Plainview to the Hamptons at night.

As the time finally nears for my train I pay even closer attention to the people in the lobby. I am both looking for anyone who might help me as well as anyone who might snatch my purse or laptop. I notice one fine looking African American man, about thirty-five to forty, classically dressed in an expensive trench coat and suit. He isn't carrying anything. I'm guessing he could be a successful business man or attorney, who is also athletic. He has a subtle but commanding presence and seems alert to his surroundings. I even wonder if he is an undercover agent. I find it odd that I hadn't noticed when he entered the lobby since there are not many people and he stands out from the rest. I hope he is heading for my platform but when the monitor screens announce my train is expected in 15 minutes he remains standing near the wall.

I immediately grab up all of my bags as I know that I'm going to haul all this stuff through the glass doors, and hopefully someone will hold the door open – then up on the elevator, across a fairly long hall and then down a very long flight of stairs to the train platform. Although there is an up escalator from the platform, there is no down escalator or elevator running at night. I had begun to pray for strength and God's help in getting all my belongings down those stairs shortly after managing to haul all it all into the lobby from the last train, when I had the use of both elevators,

Someone helps by holding the door open but I am the only of the lobby. I am alone for a moment in a large hall. I pause for a moment readjusting my load so the weight is more balanced, as the man follows me out, hurrying to the left, towards the subway. I lift my bags back up and head right, at which point he turns heads towards me.

I've pushed the elevator button. I smile at him and he smiles back. As I write this, I am wondering why I never suspected he was following me but that's probably because I felt quite safe, even protected in his presence. We comfortably ride up in the elevator without speaking.

I exit the elevator and he moves on ahead of me towards the stairs leading to the platform for trains to Manhattan. There isn't anyone else around, and then there is just me as I slowly make my way towards my train's staircase further down the hall. I pause for a moment at the top of the stairs. Someone rushes past me  down the stairs. I turn I see if anyone else is coming as I will be blocking them as I lumber down the stairs. Only, right behind me is the man again. I turn to him and say, “Could you…” and before I can complete my sentence asking him to go ahead of me, he says something like “Of course,” and in a friendly and confident way takes the two duffle bags and brings them down the stairs for me.

Now as I'm following him down the stairs, I am thanking God for sending this man. Such a blessing! Whew! At the bottom, I thank the man himself as he hands me my bags, I take a few steps along the empty platform towards the station attendant's booth where about five cops are standing along with a couple of other travelers.

I turnmy head glad that I have my "protector" behind me. I feel quite safe.

Only the man who helped me is gone. Vanished. Where?

There's nowhere for him to have gone except back up the stairs. He didn't have time, even running up the stairs to reach the top, which is clearly visible from where I stood. Besides, since the only other platform open was before mine, this would mean the man purposefully followed me to help me, possible as I believe that God can prompt people to acts of chessed ( lovingkindness). I look over at the other platform, two train car widths away, equally well lit and quite visible, but the man isn't there. I think to myself that of course he isn't thee, he didn't have time to even make it up the stairs.

I don't see the man anywhere and that is impossible.

There haven't been any trains on either platform.

I sped the next ten minutes looking for him. He's gone. Huh?

And then I wonder, did I just meet an angel?

I lack any more reasonable explanation for what occurred. I've never experienced someone just seeming to disappear with absolutely nowhere to go. I suppose I could come up with a science fiction type of explanation also, but that would not account for the man's helpful behavior and presence.

I know that God has prompted me at times to say or do something for someone, including complete strangers. Sometimes it made sense and sometimes it did not, but I have learned that if it is a kindness, it cannot hurt me to do it, although I still have some anxiety over appearing foolish. I had anxiety about writing this part of the blog and seeming foolish, except that the Bible is very clear that there are angels among us who appear as humans. Up until now, I have only experienced humans who behaved like angels, also referred to as Good Samaritans.

I also wonder if I would have noticed the unexplainable dissappearance of the man -- or angel -- except for the strange circumstances of my journey. I was more focused on God, maybe even walking or stmbling along a step closer because I was doubting my ability to be still and know God. (Did I really "get" that the Passport was to be my vehicle?) Plus, I was physically spent, without any of my usual distractions of books and work that I take aong on journeys. It was so very late at night (early morning actually), that there were very few people and due to the area. I was alert to my surroundings. Granted, I am glad there is a strong police presence in Jamaica station at night.

The rest of the Passport adventure has a happy ending. All that was wrong and caused the second breakdown was the result of the first breakdown. The radiator cap was loose and the overflow tank top had melted so the coolant escaped and the vehicle overheated. I picked up the car on the following Sunday from Plainview and there haven't been any other problems. James La Volpe of JVL Auto in Kingston , NY, the dealer offered to pay for the last fix, but I asked him to donate the amount to charity instead. James has been a kind of an angel throught this deal [Note: you can find his listings on eBay under dealweaver.]

So in the end, I got a great deal of a great vehicle, which at this time is close to perfect for my needs. I had to take a mini vacation (no choice), which was refreshing! My walk with God has been only strengthened by the problems of the breakdowns. And maybe, just maybe, I met an angel.

My neighbor, Bob, who knows about cars, checked out the Passport and he says it is in good shape. I trust Bob. We have a good relationship.

This concludes a three part blog.

June 13, 2006